Arrested FIFA Official Defends Himself Using An Article From The Onion, Whoops!

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Hold on a second. Did Jack Warner just sneaky prove his innocence? I mean you can’t be that stupid to think this Onion article was real. I don’t care if you have never heard of the Onion, you read that title and the “Tournament to kick off later this afternoon” and you know it’s fake right away. Which is why this is genius. Because when you watch this video you say to yourself, no one can be this dumb right? Wrong. Someone can be this dumb. And if someone is this dumb do you really think they could pull off a worldwide extortion scheme, taking bribes left and right and selling venues for the World Cup? No chance. Jack Warner just flipped the game. It’s like pleading insanity but instead of insanity it’s just cold hard stupidity. “I’m too stupid to be corrupt” -Jack Warner. Free Jack Warner!

PS

How the fuck did that guy end up with the name Jack Warner?