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Umm, That Is Not Ben Simmons

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For those who may not be aware, THIS is Ben Simmons

NBA Awards Show 2018 - Arrivals

I’m not here to talk about how easy it is to make replica bobble heads, but come on, you have to at least get somewhat close. I think we all know nothing will be perfect, but you have to end up in the same universe as the actual player you are replicating. I mean, this shit is not even CLOSE to the real thing. Learn how to replicate your own franchise player you cowards. Now granted, I don’t know who’s responsible for creating this, whether it’s the Sixers or whoever, but god dammit would you have some pride in your work for me one time?

I was curious if there were any other historically poor bobble heads involving NBA players, and boy was I rewarded. After some research here were some of the worst ones that I couldn’t even believe were real

James Harden – 2012

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Oh my fucking goodness. The picture on the box is pretty close, but the actual doll? That shit is nightmare fuel. I give this a -5/10

Steve Nash – 2008

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The disrespect here is unforgivable. If this was supposed to be during Nash’s Suns tenure, where is the long hair? Why does this bobblehead look like it wants to murder me and my entire family? I thought Canadians were supposed to be nice. 1/10

Kemba Walker – 2014

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Now this is fucked up. What, Kemba is an elf because he’s short? How rude. Not only that, but it looks nothing like him either. 2/10

Al Jefferson – 2007

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I know Al Jefferson. I rooted for Al Jefferson. Al Jefferson is a friend of mine (he’s not). This is no Al Jefferson. 0/10

Michael Jordan – 1994

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Oh I get it. They were curious what Michael Jackson would look like if he was bald and played for the Bulls. Classic MJ mix up, happens all the time. -5/10.

Dennis Rodman – 1997

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Dennis Rodman or Charlie Villanueva. I don’t know, you don’t know, nobody knows. Where is the nose ring or the tats? Why does he have a gigantic forehead like that? 1/10.

And here’s the thing, there are actually some pretty great bobbleheads out there. Take a look at this gold one of Dirk that just came out, the Mavs absolutely nailed it.

So while this Ben Simmons bobblehead looks nothing like him, it’s just more of the same when it comes to this gimmick. I don’t know why it’s so hard to get these in the ballpark of the actual players, but I will admit seeing some that are this bad did make me chuckle a little this morning.