Dude Stabs His Roommate During Apple vs. Android Argument

The Smoking Gun – A drunken argument over whether Android or Apple smartphones were superior turned violent early today when two Oklahoma roommates began assaulting each other during the bloody telecommunications debate. According to Tulsa police, Jiaro Mendez and Elias Acevedo were outside their apartment around 1 AM when their phone quarrel moved to the stabbing stage. As they tussled in a parking lot, Acevedo allegedly struck Mendez in the back of the head with a beer bottle. When cops subsequently apprehended Acevedo, he was “covered in blood” and “also had several lacerations on his body from the fight.” Both men were treated for cuts and bruises at a local hospital, where Mendez told police that the pair had been “arguing about which phone was better, the iPhone or the Android.” Acevedo, pictured above, was booked into the county jail for felony assault with a deadly weapon. Acevedo, 21, is being held without bond, while an Immigration and Customs Enforcement hold has also been placed on him, according to jail records. Investigators did not disclose which of the men was the Apple fanboy or the Android devotee.

Gather round, children. Open your ears and listen closely. I’m about to tell you something of utmost importance:

Android users are the most annoying assholes on the planet earth.

There is nobody worse than them. ISIS is one half step below Android fanboys. Fandroids. Like this report saying they were unsure which of the men was an Apple user and which was an Android user is hilarious. Cleary the fucking loser stabbing people over their phone choice was the Android user. Droid fans are like goddam evangelical missionaries. Like they have some sort of duty to go out and preach the word of Android cell phones trying to convert people from Apple products. They’re like Atheists who constantly feel the need to argue with people about why their way is correct and why everyone else is wrong. Hey Droid fans, nobody gives a fuck! I dont care how big your screen is or how many pixels your camera is or any of that other shit. I have an iPhone because Apple and all their products dominate the world. iTunes runs the music/podcast/video world. Nobody wants that Google Play shit. All the good apps and programs and shit are made for iPhones so I have a fucking iPhone. If the world flip flops tomorrow and Android is the default choice then my next phone I’ll get a goddam Android. Because I dont have some bizarre irrational loyalty to a particular mobile phone manufacturer. If I had my way I’d still be rocking a fucking Nextel. So spare me all the details about why your phone is better and why my phone is inferior and put away your knife you fucking psychopath. Just deal with the fact that you have a poor people phone and no matter how much better your phone supposedly is, every time someone looks at your they’re thinking “That dude doesn’t even have an iPhone?” Either deal with that stigma, or just convert and get an iPhone. But stabbing people because you cant handle the judgment is not an option for todays society you pricks.