Jordie's Movember Update: Week 1
Ain’t no better way to cap off being an American Hero today by grubbing down some Wawa after voting. This is exactly what the founding fathers had in mind.
Last week I wrote a blog titled “How To Handle Movember If You’re A Little Bitch Like Myself And Can’t Grow Facial Hair”. Since then, I’ve done my research and have found that 1 in every 8 men nationwide suffer from male pattern facial-baldness. So where you are right now, just stop and look around. At least one of the guys around you physically can’t grow a good beard. Maybe it’s you, maybe it’s Steve in accounting. Regardless, it’s a real issue. But I wasn’t going to let a little face-baldness stop me from raising awareness for causes such as Prostate Cancer, Testicular Cancer and mental health issues affecting men. Which is why I’m powering through this Movember despite the man obstacles in my way. So after 1 full week down, here’s what I’m working with so far.
Now as you can see, my mustache doesn’t connect. It never has and I don’t think it ever will. I like to think that maybe my face hates Hitler so much that it just refuses to grow a Hitler ‘stache. In which case my face is pretty fucking awesome because Hitler was bad (depending on who you talk to). The rest of my mustache is very… well… well at least it showed up. Does it look like I’m just going through puberty for the first time? Sure. But at least there’s room for improvement. And oh yeah, check the soul patch. That’s new this year. Never been able to grow that before but it looks like I’m all grown up now.
The next two weeks should be a breeze but we’ll see how things work out come Thanksgiving Week. That’s where we really separate the Movember men from the Movember boys.
Wawa Order Of The Week:
Went with ol’ reliable today. The buffalo chicken strip sandwich. Obviously had to get it on a wheat roll because I’m a semi-professional athlete and gotta stay healthy and fit and flirty. Here’s what we’re working with. Bone apple tea.
Hot pepper rings and pepperjack cheese for some extra kick. Savvy veteran move, in my expert opinion. As far as the appearance goes… I give it an F. Looks like someone found a sandwich in the garbage, threw it in the microwave for 45 seconds and called it lunch. But as far as taste is concerned–which is the most important factor–it was an A-. So overall I give the sandwich a B and I give my mustache a D+.
Sweater Of The Week:
Team North America home jersey. Currently a blank slate but that might have to change soon and maybe slap Gostisbehere on the back.