The Browns Are Installing Victory Fridges Full of Free Beer in 10 Cleveland Bars That Will Be Unlocked If/When The Browns Win Their First Game

I don’t know if I should laugh or feel sad anymore. I’m not a Patriots fan, but if I’m reading this from that perspective it’s wild that teams are celebrating their first victory of the regular season like this. Just to think that within the NFL there are teams that go to the Super Bowl literally every single season and on the other side of the spectrum there is a team that is so hungry for one single win that they’re giving out free beer in a mass celebration. That’s Cleveland for ya! They’re that lovable little brother who sucks at everything and you include them in things just so you don’t finish last. They really think this is the year they get that W. I’m totally on board with that thinking too because the team is massively improved, but I still don’t know when they’re going to get it.

Pittsburgh week 1 not likely. On the road in New Orleans, doubt it. The Jets week 3 maybe, but if Darnold is the truth and Baker is sitting the bench I don’t know about that. That is the only game in their first 14 games that they are favorites (-2.5) so maybe that is the day they crack open the beers. They also might be waiting until week 5 or later to pop open that fridge. In that case, Bud Light has a plan to keep the beers fresh. Only in Cleveland would you have to install an emergency plan in case they don’t win a game.

Cleveland is a special place and they can never be allowed to win a Super Bowl. We need them around to keep losing to keep us all sane. Once that’s over with, fun will not exist. The Vegas over under for their wins total is set at 5.5 and I think you’d be a fool to take the over. They’ve won on game in two years and Hue Jackson is still the coach. Going from zero to six would be unbelievable, even while playing in a shitty division.