Shia LaBeouf Telling His Drunken Cabaret Arrest Story May Have Inexplicably Made Me Into A Shia LaBeouf Fan

 
“I slap him on the ass cause I think he deserves it.” Hilarious, and true. The dude probably did deserve a “Thadda a guy”.
 
Great story. He even admits batshittidy, which means he can’t be crazy, right? Is it possible the Lord Of The Douche is just a misunderstood drunk? Shia and I may have more in common than I thought. I can imagine getting caught in a rough binge that just leads down a darker and darker rabbit hole like this. I may not like him, yet, but dammit if I don’t respect that tall tale. Especially dropping The Answer in his story almost out of nowhere.

Baby steps, Shia. Right now he’s still tied with Ryan Lochte and Papelbon for biggest douchewaffle in all the land, but keep the Whiskey flowing and this may be the start of a beautiful relationship. It’s still gonna take a lot after all we’ve been through…