Cristiano Ronaldo's Hometown Built Him A Statue And His Dick Looks Awesome In It

Yo fuck you Cristiano Ronaldo. It’s one thing to get a statue, to immortalize a living human being, but did you have to give him a sweet ass dick too? And you know this will just get him more women. You know it. The guy has basically everything in this world, money, fame, women, success, everything. And now he gets a billboard to the world saying he has a gigantic cock too? Talk about the rich getting richer. I’m jealous of a fucking statue, just think about that for a second, I would trade lives with a statue that isn’t even alive. Fuck off dude. At least I can speak English.

Oh and look, it’s already working.