Mitt Romney Is Stepping Into The Ring To Fight Evander Holyfield For Charity
TIME- Forget about Manny Pacquiao and Floyd Mayweather, the real fight of the century is scheduled for May 15 when Mitt Romney enters the ring to battle Evander Holyfield in Salt Lake City. Yes, you read that right. Romney, the former Massachusetts governor, and Holyfield, the five-time heavyweight titleholder who smacked around the likes of Mike Tyson and George Foreman, are going to lace up gloves and duke it out in a charity exhibition. However, Romney has no delusions about actually winning this contest. “It will either be a very short fight, or I will be knocked unconscious,” Romney told the Salt Lake City Tribune. “It won’t be much of a fight. We’ll both suit up and get in the ring and spar around a little bit.” A portion of the proceeds will help support Charity Vision, which provides doctors and facilities in poverty-stricken areas with equipment and resources to carry out eye operations.
2015 you magnificent bastard! I love headlines like this. They might be my favorite thing in the world. I wish I could hop into a time machine and go back to when Mitt Romney was running for president and tell people that in 2015 Mitt was gonna be boxing Evander Holyfield. I don’t give a shit about politics but I just want to know what their reactions would be when I told them. “Why is Mitt boxing Holyfield?! Did he lose the presidential election, lose his mind and decide to become a professional boxer? Did he somehow lose his fortune and now has to step into the ring with Holyfield for cash? WHAT IS GOING ON TELL US” It’s none of that of course. He still has his fortune and is taking punches from Evander for charity. As far as the actual fight, I have pretty low expectations. They’ll probably just softly punch each for a little bit, pretend like they’re actually fighting. If they really wanted to raise a lot of money they’d say they were going 110%. No holds barred. All haymakers. I just want to know what that looks like. Mitt is 68. Evander is 52. An all-out brawl between them would be hilarious. A knock down, drag out between these two would make us all feel lucky to be alive during this time period. I’m narrowly taking Holyfield.