Parents Bribe Their Kids With Weed And Coke To Get Them To Do Chores

Gawker - Joey and Chad Mudd from Florida were arrested Monday after they allegedly admitted to police that they regularly used drugs in their parenting of their two teenage daughters, aged 13 and 15, as a bribe to get them to do “household chores and excel in school.” According to the police report, published by the Smoking Gun, Joey—the mother of the teens—waived her Miranda rights post-arrest and willingly admitted to smoking weed with the kids at least five times “as a bargaining tool.” Even more disturbing are the allegations against the father, Chad, who stands accused of snorting cocaine with the girls in his truck in the parking lot of a Treasure Island. Both parents are facing multiple felony child abuse charges. The kids, including a third child still in pre-school, have all reportedly been placed with a family member.

Lets get one thing straight here – bribery is legitimately the only way to raise children. That is an indisputable fact. What, do you expect your kids to just behave all the time because its the “right” thing to do? Expect them to eat vegetables and do homework and clean their room and all that terrible shit just because they’ll like feel good about themselves or something? For sure not. This is America. Capitalism. Hard work for rewards. When I was a kid my Mom gave me $10 per A on my report card. Your boy made sure he was getting like at least 40 bucks every time report cards came out. Those Air Penny II’s werent gonna buy themselves. When I was real little we had “The Black Mark System.” Every time you do something bad – black mark. Every time you did something good – gold star. More black marks than gold stars at the end of the week and she hit us with a paint stirrer. More gold stars than black marks, we got a toy from Toys R Us. I actually got hit with a lot of paint stirrers at that phase in my life but I at least knew I’d get a toy if I ever wanted to turn it on.

And so these parents are just doing the Florida version of that bribery. $10 bucks for A’s and like a $20 allowance was enough to motivate your boy KFC to get good grades and empty/load the dishwasher and clean my room and shit. When you live in Florida its 8 balls and blunts. Thats just Florida life. They’re probably like “Go out there and scare that alligator off our property and we’ll break you off a couple rails.” Thats Florida life, Florida parenting. Bribery and extortion are the best way to handle your children but only if the reward is actually considered valuable. So when you live in the Panhandle and you’re white trash, this is their version of the Black Mark system. Behave yourself and you get a little bit of weed. At the end of the week if you’ve been really good, we’ll all blow lines and go to Treasure Island. Say what you will about those tactics but I bet those kids were behaving themselves. Except when they were high on cocaine but that obviously doesnt count.