Zach Wilson's Mom Tearing Into the 'Dicks' Who Stole Her Purse at a Wedding Has My Support and My Heart

I hope I've made it clear by now that I take a back seat to no one when it comes to admiration for Zach Wilson's mom Lisa Neeleman Wilson. Her Instagram following exploded once her son was drafted No. 2 overall by the Jets and we discovered what she's all about. A perfect blended drink of proud sports mom, influencer, and unfiltered content. 

Her rant about Disney where she coined the term "Maskholes" won me over for good. 

Would that life were all nothing but happy, upbeat rants about overly aggressive theme park workers, virus mitigation, Snapchat and whores. Unfortunately sometimes there are setbacks. Even in the middle of our greatest moments of reverie. 

Over the weekend, it seems that Lisa was at a wedding, tearing up the dance floor like a prima ballerina. With the fire in her soul of a warrior princess, and the wild abandon of the free spirit she is. 

Let her be an inspiration to all of us. If you're part of the bride and groom's parents' generation or older, unless you can demonstrate moves of a Lisa Wilson, sit out the fast songs so you don't embarrass yourself and everyone in your family. Stay in your seat and wait for the inevitable Sinatra and Elvis love ballads. They say you should "dance like nobody's watching"? Well, we are. And it's better to call attention to yourself when you can keep up with the young 'uns the way she does than go full Elaine Benis on everyone. 

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Dammit all. What kind of incorrigible reprobate do you have to be to steal a purse at a wedding? Anyone's purse. But especially one belonging to someone like Lisa Wilson? She's in he middle of being the life of the party. Bringing an energy that provides the spark for everyone, and gives the bride and groom what they ultimately want out of the day: For everyone to have a great time and come away with fond memories. And for that, she gets rewarded with common thievery. At a celebration. A place of trust. Absolutely despicable. 

I hope whatever ill-gotten gains this lowlife took from her is more than offset by the guilt of knowing they betrayed the trust of this wonderful soul. Worse: I hope the money is cursed like something out of a Bible parable about the wages of sin and they live to rue the day they ever messed with my favorite NFL mom. Calling them "Dicks" is too good for them. But keep doing you, Lisa Wilson.