The NFL Top 100 Tribute to No. 85 Mac Jones is the First Grade-A Patriots Porn of 2022

Me and pretty much every Patriots fan while viewing this:

Whoosh. I am spent. If I watch more NFL veterans gushing about Mac Jones over a collection of Mac Jones rookie highlights, I'm going to need an IV to replace my fluids.

Incredibly, it's been three full years now since the Patriots have given us that porn trifecta of the NFL Films Super Bowl video, NFL Network's America's Game, and Kraft Productions' 3 Games to Glory. And we're still a couple of weeks from the preseason hype videos sprouting up all over YouTube like summer corn. And as someone who prides himself on owning the largest privately-curated collection of top notch Patriots erotica in the world, I certain appreciate the steamy, erotic sensuality of these glowing tributes. 

Marlon Humphrey: “Pro Bowl as a rookie, that’s always pretty impressive." 

Demario Davis: “Definitely one of the most solid pickups in recent times in the league. His career is going to take off in a major way.”

Braxton Berrios: “The way he goes through progressions, he doesn’t make many crucial errors or mistakes. He’s going to be a player in this league for a long time.” 

Chandler Jones: “I think he’s a hell of a player. He’s going to be good for the Patriots franchise for a very long time. I believe that.”

Winners and Pro Bowlers all in their own rights, who have played against him and see what all of New England has had the great privilege of seeing for over a year now. And I can't get enough of Matthew Judon, No. 52 on the NFL's list:

… calling McCorkle "a field general" for the way he's commanded a huddle since the day he arrived. Nor can I get enough of seeing him refuse to accept his first career touchdown ball from Nelson Agholor. It's like Jones was created in Nick Saban's genetic engineering biolab to Bill Belichick's exact specifications. And while Belichick's former quarterback spent his last three seasons in Foxboro skipping non-mandatory workouts, projecting an attitude of pure, disgruntled misery when he did show up, and is now talking a sabbatical in the middle of team's training camp, his new one is earning respect among his Pro Bowl peers. 

Now it's all just a matter of Jones leading us to another summer of Super Bowl highlights, America's Game and 3 Games to Glory. Three years is way too long for us to have to wait. 

With that, you'll have to excuse me. My refractory period is over and I'm going back for another rewatch. I'm gonna need a bigger box of tissues.