The New Stripper Suites At The United Center Look Awesome

Dante3/30/2023 9:10 PM

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This is marketing 101 right here from the United Center.

What do you do when two sub-.500 teams are facing off to be provocative and get the people going?

You throw strippers at the situation, that's what.

Strippers fix everything. Strippers put asses in the seats.

I mean, just look how happy this guy was. Look at his face.

At 4 pm yesterday, he was fucking miserable at his desk. Thinking how he finally got invited to the Ernst & Young corporate box for a game with the big swinging dicks, and it was for a shit Bulls team and an even shittier Lakers team. How he was going to have to listen Saul tell the same fucking story about the time he waited for his car at the Tavern on Rush Valet at the same time as Michael Jordan for the millionth time, Trevor brag about his golf game, and Bill complain about his girlfriend the whole game while he tried to sneakily get blacked out on the free Jack and Cokes.

But lucky for him, the suite next to him was making it fucking rain.