The Patriots Sign Ezekiel Elliot. Cue the Duckboats!

Me, upon receiving this news:

Bill fecking Belichick, ladies and gentleman. Did GM Bill do it again or did GM Bill do it again? So he misses out in a bidding war for DeAndre Hopkins that escalated way out of control. So the reported interest in Dalvin Cook never amounted to jack squat.  So instead, we have to settle - and I use that term ironically, believe me - for Ezekiel Elliot at a bargain basement, 1-year Prove It deal, that's probably loaded with incentives and a minimal cap hit. Meaning he will still have plenty of flexibility to accumulate more talent and re-sign some of his younger core players.

In that classic Belichick style, he was dealing from a position of strength. Had all the leverage against a highly motivated seller. And added a guy who's been doubted, questioned and dismissed by the team that drafted him high. And who therefore has everything to prove. 

Sure, I'll acknowledge the numbers. After leading the league in yards per game his first three seasons, Elliott had a career-low 3.8 yards per attempt last year, which was 1.4 YPA less than Tony Pollard, running behind the same line. But he hasn't forgotten where the end zone is. His 12 rushing TDs were tied for fifth most in the league, and the most he's had since his 15 as a rookie. He's also one season removed from his last 1,000 yard season. And just turned 28 years old. 

Even if you believe, as I do, that all running backs should be taken out back behind the barn on their 30th birthday, Elliott still has time to demonstrate his worth once again. And by the way, you know who doesn't worry about that? Belichick. A few years back there were four RBs in the league who were 32 or older. Three of them - Fred Taylor, Sammy Morris and Kevin Faulk - were on his roster. If a guy can play, he can play. 

And on a team that rarely has what you'd consider a bellcow back and prefers to switch up the backfield from quarter to quarter, Zeke will get his chances as part of this depth chart:

• Rhamondre Stevenson
• Elliott
• Ty Montgomery
• Pierre Strong, Jr.
• Kevin Harris
• JJ Taylor

A versatile power back who rarely gets hurt, can score, pick up tough yards in goal line and short-yardage situations, averages 43 receptions and 333 receiving yards as season (with highs of 77 and 567) and is motivated to prove to the world he's still worth getting paid with the top backs in the lead? Bring. It. On. 

Cue the Duckboats. Kiss the rings.

Michael Dwyer. Shutterstock Images.