Oz The Mentalist Unleashed His Black Magic On Another NFL Team, This Time Mindfucking Micah Parsons, Dak Prescott, And The Dallas Cowboys
Look, I'm all for being progressive as a society. But I think our forefathers had it right when they burnt witches, wizards, and anybody else that dabbled in the dark arts at the stake. I mean I love the head rush that comes with the occasional mindfuck and all. However I think that dabbling with the devil's magic comes at a cost to the people who are not trained in that world, considering the fates of the two Jets who were used as guinea pigs for his magic tricks.
Aaron Rodgers registered one blown Achilles in his first game as a Jet and Mecole Hardman did not record a single stat in his first game as a Jet after Oz pulled his magic tricks on them. Actually a trick is something a whore does for money. Oz is pulling some sort of illusion or actual mind control magic considering he had two different people both choose a goldfish out of a list of 50 animals (or this is all bullshit and I just called him out like Vincent Laguardia Gambini would do when magicians would try to pull wool over his eyes).
As for this video, the Cowboys luckily only had their QB1 and best player participate in Oz's sick, twisted voodoo. I would blame their head coach for allowing this to happen, but Mike McCarthy was somehow put in charge of handling the clock despite years of bugling time management in Green Bay. Watching the Cowboys beat the everliving shit out of my Giants last Sunday hurt. But no beatdown is as bad as whatever supernatural evil Oz is about to unleash on America's Former Team.
P.S. These tweets showing up back-to-back on my Twitter feed was creepy as fuck. I hope that sick bastard didn't put a hex on me too for blogging it.
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P.P.S. If you didn't get that Vincent Laguardia Gambini reference, go watch My Cousin Vinny right now. I don't care that the early Sunday games are about to kick off. That movie is an S-Tier comedy and was maybe the greatest steal in Dog Walk Draft history.