John Mara Should Be Forced To Sell The Giants If They Can't Put Together An Average Offensive Line Before One Of His Quarterbacks Gets Killed

First off let me say that this is not a reactionary blog to last night's ELEVEN SACK performance by the Seahawks. This is a thought that has been slowly brewing in my head after watching the Giants offensive line play get this shit kicked out of them for ohhhhh the last decade or so? Maybe longer? Daniel Jones is the the latest sacrificial lamb being led to the slaughter by the five ski maskers lining up in front of him and robbing the Giants of money. But the offensive line has been a problem since Eli Manning was running for his life since the second half of his career, which is how I know this nightmare is not just a product of Jones' awareness behind another dogshit line.

I could blame the players, the offensive line coach, the head coach, and/or the GM for this mess that completely torpedoes the rest of the team. But the offensive line has been a problem for their predecessors, their predecessors predecessors, and their predecessors predecessors predecessors. Yes I think I am the first blogger to word predecessors on Barstool, so I wanted to run up the numbers a bit. 

What was i talking about? Oh yeah, what every Giants fan is talking about after an embarrassing loss: Tthe O-Line! The offensive line needs to be fixed before a Giants QB literally dies on the MetLife field at the hands of an opposing pass rusher. Not only is that bad for the player but it will be bad for the league since it will likely happen during a prime time game since that rat fuck Goodell has the Giants only working nights like a goddamn whore.

The one constant during all the years of offensive line INCOMPETENCE is John Mara (and I guess Steve Tisch too but we never talk about the Tisch family). So the blood of any dead Giants player will be squarely on John's hands. As a father of two young kids, I've come to realize that taking away something a person truly loves is the only way to get stuff done sometimes, so I think Goodell needs to threaten taking away the Mara family business if they can't employ a fully functional offensive line. Let's see how John is taking this threat.

Yup, my kids act the same way when I tell them they just lost Nintendo for the night.

To be clear, it's not like the Giants haven't invested in the offensive line. They've spent good money, high draft picks, and made trades to try to fix the trenches. Granted a lot of their biggest resulted in guys that were so bad, fans of the other 31 teams knew they sucked. Because if you hear of linemen from teams that aren't even in your division, they are either really good or really bad. I'll let you decide how this trio is.

Advertisement

Advertisement

I'm not even just blaming the players either since the offensive line coaching has been abysmal. Granted, my understanding of offensive line coaching is simply based on what I hear from people who know what they are talking about as well as how the offensive line actually performs. But I also know every preseason I would hear stories about the Patriots having a bunch of chicken shit laying around that Dante Scarnecchia would inevitably turn into chicken salad without fail because that's what great coaches do. Those coaches also don't cost you anything but money and there's no salary cap stopping you from attaining them.

Speaking of which, who can forget when the Giants reportedly had a chance to hire Bill Callahan, who builds dominant offensive lines everywhere he goes, but missed out on him because they wanted to go with Jason Garrett as offensive coordinator, which apparently killed the chance of Callahan on the spot.

Advertisement

The bottom line is you cannot have a night like last night happen again or there may be an actual decapitation on an NFL field. Get Andrew Thomas healthy, pay not just a good but a great offensive line coach (Mike Munchak?) whatever he wants to coach this unit, and figure out how to fix this shit once and for all or sell the fucking team to someone who will.

Also MetLife Stadium fucking sucks, has sucked since Day 1, and it is truly mind blowing that it was built around the same time for around the same price as Jerry's World. Please sell the team to an owner that will bulldoze that giant air conditioner and build something that has the feel of a 21st century stadium.