UPDATE: The Delco Dumper Has Been Apprehended By Authorities, But I Think I'm On Her Side Now
You may recall yesterday seeing a video of a woman expelling a salvo of shit directly onto the hood of a Hyundai. Honestly, it's a video that you wouldn't be able to forget.
The cops immediately went to work, tracked this woman down, and apprehended the suspect. But like every great story, there are two sides to this one. And I'm starting to think that maybe the Delco Dumper isn't as guilty as we originally thought.
"The lady chased me. She chased me and I asked her not to attack me".
Have you ever heard of a defense mechanism? Does anybody think a skunk should be arrested when they spray a potential predator? Not at all. Because evolution has given skunks the ability to protect themselves in a way that neutralizes their predator's advantages like size and speed. The Delco Dumper was getting chased by this woman, and she had no other choice but to defend herself the only way she knows how. With her sickness--the ability to shit on command with deadly precision.
The more I think about it, the more this woman has evolved beyond an ordinary human. Maybe it's not as cool as flying or super strength or anything like that, but this is a superpower. You can't convince me otherwise. I don't think Marvel is going to be adding a superhero who can shit on command anytime soon to the MCU, but there's a chance we end up seeing this woman in the DC Universe at some point.