My Daily Rundown - Monday May 5, 2025- Featuring Special Guest Rob Gronkowski - CIA Scientists Claims We Have 10 UFO's in Our Possession, Edelman Is A Pats Hall Of Famer, Italian Dad Haggling Prices, and What's The Best School Lunch Item Of All Time?
Here's my daily rundown for Monday May 5, 2025
Topic #1 - JULIAN EDELMAN IS A PATRIOTS HALL OF FAMER
Legit shocked here. Everybody nominated to be a Pats HOFer deserves to be in. I get why they stagger it to one per year, allowing each guy to have their whole time in the sun, solo. But Vinatieri should have been in YEARS AGO! Just listen to Gronk!
(Sidebar - what the fuck is gonna happen when Rob gets nominated next year. Vinatieri is going to be waiting again? Thats dumb. Put him in now with Edelman.)
Topic #2- A CIA SCIENTIEST SAYS WE HAVE 10 RECOVERED UFO'S
First off, a "CIA Scientist"?
Anyay, yah no shit buddy. Tell us something we don't know. This has been the biggest non-secret secret since Area 51 became a known thing.
What I want to know is does this fall in line with the supposed "Friendship Project" that has floated around intelligence circles forever that talks about how the aliens are here to prevent us from destroying everything and each other, and that they thrive off our happiness? Because that would fall in line with guiding us by gifting us technology and it also tracks with how insane the jumps in technology have occurred over the last 20-30 years.
GIUSY MELONI APPRECIATION POST
Here's why I'm including this.
I tried to publish a blog for Giusy Meloni's birthday a few weeks ago, dedicated to her in Italian. I was screamed at informed that the blog couldn't be posted because the pictures I used for the thumbnail weren't allowed, even though they were beautiful selfies that Giusy took, "because they would get the company sued."
Topic #3- ITALIAN DAD NEGOTIATING PRICES FOR JETSKIS ON VACATION
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What the fuck was the result here? Did he get "the bikes" or did he not get "the bikes"?
For anybody who's been to Jamaica and tried to buy one of those wooden sculptures with the giant dongs, you can tell this wasn't the first rodeo for this Jersey Italian guy, who finds ways to tell you it's called "gravy", not sauce, and who goes out of his way to remind everybody he's Sicilian, not Italian. (There's a difference you know?).
Funny video would have been way better if we discovered the outcome. I'm not into that edging shit.
Topic #4 - GREATEST SCHOOL LUNCH ITEM OF ALL TIME
French Bread Pizza, Chicken Patties.
OVERTIME -
So earlier tonight we were at dinner and talking about what a fucking nightmare it is trying to date girls in 2025. Rob is obviously very happily taken, but my friend and I are very obviously single. So he had plenty of questions to ask us. War stories to put it more appropriately. Nightmares you could never imagine, unless you were out here on the battlefront like us.
I told a story about a girl I knew who I thought was a good, wholesome girl, but who had recently been "taking trips to Dubai". My friends asked what was wrong with that and I proceeded to ask them, in shock, how they'd never heard of the "dubai porta potty" thing. This was complete news to them.