Stefon Diggs Dominated the Met Gala the Way a True WR1 Should

It's been a long time since I paid attention to the Met Gala. For good reasons. Fashion - so called - is the strangest of all subcultures. At least when viewed through the narrow perspective of a suburban dad whose wardrobe is 90% t-shirts from Barstool or with '80s movie quotes on them. To me, it's Bizzaro World, seen through a glass and darkly. Created entirely for the super rich to put on preposterously impractical clothes and freeze their faces into uber-serious expressions for the cameras for reasons. Because somebody somewhere lives for it. I just have never met that person. 

All that said, while I'm a stranger in a strange land when it comes to this event, it's not like it's never given me anything. It used to give me this on an annual basis:

Stephen Lovekin. Shutterstock Images.

Carl Timpone. Shutterstock Images.

Back then, the Met Gala was the chance to see my quarterback cosplay as a Bond villain or one of the Capitol Citizens in The Hunger Games. It was still strange, but with an element of magic to it. A reminder of how far my football team had come from the days of my misspent youth when we were pinning our thin hopes on Marc Wilson or Hugh Millen as they went under center. And now we had a guy who was the center of attention among the most elite fashionistas on the globe. It was something I thought of often during the five seasons of irrelevance since.

Well now we've gotten some of that magic back. Thanks to the newest Alpha to sign on with my team:

That is how I want my No. 1 wide receiver to carry himself. We've had some handsome, fashionable wideouts in the past. Danny Amendola, who could escort a Miss Universe around and look like she belonged on his arm. Julian Edelman, who could pull off the toughest look for all men - a bow tie - and look more like a male model in it than Bill Nye. But with all due respect to those true champions of the football field and the red carpet, this is what I'm looking for in a WR1.

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This is how you lead a wide receiver room. Dressed like someone who showed up to Mon Mothma's daughter's wedding in Andor wearing a Wookie fur.  A man so dressed to the 9s as to be able to draw attention away from Halle Berry's incomparable crotchal region:

… even if just for a few moments. 

This is how you establish your dominance. By planting your flag in this foreign land and declaring it belongs to you. Stefon Diggs bestrides the narrow world of the Met Gala like a colossus. When he can own that carpet in the midst of the most exclusive group of A-listers on Earth, what chance to defensive backs have him in the end zone? 

So all hail our new king. The man who's bringing bold, audacious fashion sense back to a Patriots team that's been sorely lacking in it. Kyle Williams, Pop Douglas, Kayshon Boutte, Ja'Lynn Polk and the rest, wherever this man leads, be sure and follow. And maybe we'll see more of you at the Gala next year.