Dumping Them Out: Sandwiches, Marines Lava Monster, Jesus Staircase

John Rich5/11/2025 11:14 PM

Welcome back to another episode of Dumping Them Out. Sorry for the late Boob GIFs drop. I spent all day on an NYC East Village sandwich tour. Had a lot of good sandwiches. Our tour guide's name was Tim. Good dude. Knows his way around a sandwich. Told us all about the how the state of Massachusetts was once forced to rule on the definition of a sandwich, because in 2006 a Panera Bread opened up in a Massachusetts mall. They had a contract with the mall that stated they were to be to only restaurant who made more than 10% of their profit in sandwich sales. But then a Qdoba moved into the mall. Qdoba sells tacos and burritos. Then Panera Bread sued the mall saying that they violated their sandwich agreement, claiming that tacos and burritos qualified as sandwiches. But Panera Bread lost the lawsuit. A judge ruled that a sandwich had to be between two thin slices of bread. But then apparently a handful of years later, there was a different sandwich defining lawsuit in Fort Wayne, Indiana. That judge ruled something that kinda contradicted what the Massachusetts judge ruled. So by law there's a couple different definition of sandwiches out there. Here's an article about it.

Does anybody else remember the website StumbleUpon.com? I just thought about it for the first time the other day. I used to love that website. If you never used it, it was a website where you plugged in handful of your interests, then hit a randomize button, and it would redirect you to a random website that aligned with your interests. You'd end up in some interesting places. StumbleUpon shut down a long time ago, but I just checked to see if there was a new version. Turns out the people who made StumbleUpon now run a website called Mix.com. It's not nearly as good, but because I got back from my sandwich tour late, and I don't feel like putting in much effort right now, I'm just going to write the rest of this blog using topics from the new shittier modern day version of StumbleUpon.

Topic #1: Goat Tree in Morocco

I always thought LeBron James was born in Akron, Ohio.

Topic #2: Humpback Whale Jumping Out of Water

Mix.com is putting a lot of emphasis on my "animals" interest. My fiancee is going on a whale watching tour in San Diego as part of her bachelorette party. She's always wanted to see whales. I'm worried she has her hopes up too much. I don't know a lot about whale watching, but I'm pretty sure it's one of those things that have a 90% "leaving disappointed" rate.

Topic #3: Optical Illusion Stairs

I wrote a blog yesterday about Jason Richardson's dunking son Jaxon Richardson. The comment section kindly pointed out that I used the phrase "obstacle illusion" instead of "optical illusion". Idk how the hell that could have happened. I know the difference between the two. I catch shit like that in my blogs after the fact all the time. I swear I'm proof reading them. I'm starting to wonder if I'm being sabotaged by our editors.

Topic #4: Colt 45 by Snow The Product

I gave Snow The Product a thumbs down

Topic #5 Lightning Volcano

Imagine watching that after taking a quarter of shrooms. Coolest thing that ever happened to me after taking shrooms was looking up into the sky and seeing a large cloud that morphed into a dragon. The dragon then turned it's head and winked directly at me. That was pretty sick.

Lightning volcano reminds me of those "The Few, The Proud, The Marines" commercials they used to play when I was a kid. The ones where the Marine would fight the lava monster with a sword. I'm pretty sure lightning volcanoes are how lava monsters are born.

Topic #6: Beatles Rooftop Concert

The was the last public performance together for John, Paul, Ringo, and George. They played for 42 minutes before they were stopped by police. What dicks. I guess in hindsight the fact that the police broke it up kinda makes the story cooler. But still. Stopping a Beatles performance at that time of their career is crazy.

Topic #7: Super Moon

Ruibento. Getty Images.

Super moons are never as cool in person as they are in pictures. Same with the Northern Lights. The Northern Lights pictures are especially bullshit. Remember when the Northern Lights were visible across the United States not too long ago? All the photographers were posting their pictures saying, "Wow! Amazing! These are completely unedited!"

I actually understand photography perfectly fine asshole. It's an awesome picture. But you're still taking that pic using $10k worth of camera equipment and a 3 minute long exposures. So it's still wildly deceiving. The Northern Lights didn't look anything like that to the naked eye.