Robin Lopez Just Murdered Brook Lopez With A Star Wars Diss
NY Daily News- In a quest for more Lopez on Lopez, we approached Robin on Friday with something sure to get his mind churning with insults — even at the risk of making him jealous. It was a picture of Brook as a Bobblehead doll dressed in Jedi gear with a light saber, a giveaway item created by the Nets in collaboration with the upcoming Star Wars movie, “Force Awakens.” Robin, seeing it for the first time, did not disappoint.
“It says the Force Awakens but I’d say he’s a prequel Jedi,” the 27-year-old said. “He’s probably one of the Jedi that somehow got blasted by a Storm Trooper during order 66.” Burn.
You may not understand why this is such a damning insult, but trust us: A Jedi who is killed by a Storm Trooper is the worst kind of Jedi, and, in particular, those anonymous Jedi whose only role in the movie was succumbing to a blaster. Before he was made into a Bobblehead doll, Brook legitimately attempted — and failed, apparently — to get into the new Star Wars movie as a Wookiee. Robin believes he’s better suited for the role, anyway. “I’m a little more unkempt,” he said. “I tend to growl and roar a little more.”
If there is a feud in the NBA, it’s usually over a girl or money. But the Lopez brothers’ “beef” seems to have started just because they shared a womb. And it just got ugly. Calling your brother a prequel Jedi that was murdered by a Storm Trooper during order 66 is like if 2Pac had filmed a sex tape with Faith Evans and used that as his Hit’em Up music video. There is no way a nerd can come back from that. Good luck trying to be the most powerful protector of the galaxy when you are murdered by Storm Troopers, idiot. They are less accurate with their blasters than J.R. Smith after a night at the club with Rihanna. That’s the worst brother on brother murder since Cain killed Abel in the Old Testament. Biblical shit going on these days in the Big Apple.
And missing out on being a Wookiee in the new Star Wars movie is just shameful. You are a 7 foot Star Wars geek that can pay his own way to and from location, bro. You were born to play that role. Thank God the Knicks signed the cooler (relative term there) Lopez brother. He may not be the better actual basketball player of the two, but as a blogger that has to try to find entertaining stories about the woeful Knicks, I’ll take it.