If You Have One Eye And And Orange Beard, Maybe The Armed Robbery Profession Is Not For You

Wavy - The clerk at a Newport News convenience store almost became the victim of a robbery, but it appears the suspect changed his mind. Officers responded to a call at the 7-Eleven convenience store in the 3300 block of West Avenue shortly after midnight on Nov. 30. The store clerk told officers that a man with an orange beard and a white eye attempted to rob the store. She told police the suspect leaned over the counter, placed his hand in his pocket and pointed out what appeared to be a firearm inside of his hoodie. The suspect told the clerk that he was going to take everything from the register, but then he said he was just kidding and he walked out of the store empty-handed. Officers responded and located a man who matched a description of the suspect, in the area of 30th Street and West Avenue. Police arrested 51-year-old Rodney Jerome Pryer on a warrant for attempted robbery. 

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Not the best day for wacky ass looking armed robbers. To recap: If you’re 7’4, maybe you should be in the NBA and not going to jail for robbing a 7-11 of $35, and if you are a Fetty Wap one eyed looking motherfucker, you shouldn’t point a gun at a clerk then pussy out halfway through. Seriously, this asshole was mid-robbery and “said he was just kidding and he walked out of the story empty-handed”. What a fucking idiot. I understand the sentiment of gaining that guilty conscious, but once you’ve pointed the gun, you have to go through with it. There’s no takesy-baksey once you point the firearm at the clerk. Get your funions, the cash from the drawer, and a couple taquitos and then make your way out. Might as well have some fun before getting arrested, you’re not exactly going to blend in having one eye and a beard that makes you look like you just ate out Mrs. Claus during the wrong week of the month.

PS: If you only have 1 eye you either have to be a rapper or wear an eyepatch. Eyepatch life is so hot in the streets I wish I could wear one..but I can’t because I have two eyes that work. Wearing an eyepatch when you have two working eyes is the same as dropping an n-bomb as a white guy. True story.