Mailtime Hall Of Fame Inductee - Dude Skips Work For 6 Years, Nobody Notices

(NEWSER) – A 69-year-old Spanish man was fined this week after officials discovered he hadn’t shown up to work for at least six years, the Guardian reports. Ironically, the civil servant was discovered only when the deputy mayor attempted to give him an award for 20 years of “loyal and dedicated” service in 2010. “I thought, where is this man?” the Guardianquotes the deputy mayor. “Is he still there? Has he retired? Has he died?” According to the Independent, a legal case was launched against the man — Joaquín García — that year. It finally wrapped up this week, with García, who retired in 2011, losing an appeal and being issued a fine of approximately $30,000, the Times reports. That’s the equivalent of one year’s salary after taxes, and was the most that could legally be reclaimed.

A lot of people get the Mailtime Message wrong. Cant tell you how many people have emailed me over the years being like “I fucking hate work so I just decided to get fired and now I live on unemployment and play video games…Mailtime!” Wrong. So fucking wrong you bonehead. The Mailtime Mantra is all about doing the bare minimum while still succeeding (relatively) in the work world.

Well nobody embodies that better than Joaquin Garcia. He literally perfected Mailtime. He hit the 2 major components:

1) Make sure your job and role is so obscure while seemingly indispensable. You wanna hit the sweet spot where nobody actually really knows what you do, but are convinced that you are important and that its a task that they couldnt or wouldnt want to do. You have to deliver something of value that makes people go “Wow, thanks this is great” when they have it but it cant be anything important enough when they dont have it that they say “Wait, wheres that thing? Did Joaquin not get it done? Get his ass in my office right now!” Set the bar low, add some value here and there, but never become important enough where people notice you when you’re gone.

2) Have the balls to take advantage of the system once you’ve established yourself in component Number 1. Now most people do this by, oh, I dunno, coming in late or leaving early. Maybe taking a Friday off here and there. Perhaps a long lunch. Joaquin just stopped fucking going altogether. A real life Peter Gibbins. “I dont think I’m gonna go anymore”

Didnt get quit. Didnt get fired. Just stopped going. The Reverse Milton Waddams. Joaquin fixed the glitch on employment and still got his check for SIX YEARS without showing up.

And the best part of all? The part that makes this a truly legendary story of scamming the system? The only way he got caught was that he was getting an AWARD! Joaquin was a straight shooter with upper management written all over him. Rewarded for his commitment and loyalty after 6 years of straight up robbing them.

A modern day vigilante hero that deserves all our respect. An absolute legend of the work force. He’s a first ballot, unanimous hall of famer, and nobody can ever top him. When it comes to Mailtime, you can only hope to tie Joaquin Garcia.