I Want The Russian Hooker Golden Shower Story To Be True More Than I've Ever Wanted Anything In My Life
NY Post- Ex-FBI Director James Comey said “it’s possible” President Trump was with hookers “peeing on each other” in Moscow, according to excerpts of a new interview released Friday.
“I honestly never thought these words would come out of my mouth, but I don’t know whether the current president of the United States was with prostitutes peeing on each other in Moscow in 2013,” Comey said in a “20/20” episode set to air Sunday. “It’s possible, but I don’t know.”
The former top G-man recalled the moment Trump floated the idea of investigating the pee-tape allegations during a private dinner Jan. 27, 2017 — saying it would bother him if there was “even a 1 percent chance” that wife Melania believed them.
“And I remember thinking, ‘How could your wife think there’s a 1 percent chance you were with prostitutes peeing on each other in Moscow?’” Comey said. “I’m a flawed human being, but there is literally zero chance that my wife would think that was true. So, what kind of marriage to what kind of man does your wife think [that] there’s only a 99 percent chance you didn’t do that?”
James Comey is releasing his book, “A Higher Loyalty: Truth, Lies and Leadership,” next week. A few excerpts from it came out today ahead of his 20/20 interview on Sunday. Obviously there are a lot of character descriptions of the president, and obviously the book should be taken with a grain of salt given that it was written by a guy who had been fired by the President.
But there is one tidbit of info that I want, more than anything, to be true. And that is the story of Trump hiring Russian hookers, whereupon they peed all over the place. This isn’t a new rumor–the story came out around the election that during a 2013 visit to Moscow, Trump hired a group of Russian prostitutes to perform a “golden shower show” to defile the bed that the Obamas had slept on a previous visit. It’s an insane image, but it also sounds a LOT like something Trump would do. I don’t mean that in a mean way either; if I were Trump, I would probably have done the same exact thing. Pay a group of smokes to splash their pee all over a bed simply because Obama slept in it, while sitting in the arm chair with a bowl of porridge and a snifter of vodka, laughing so hard the porridge comes out your nose? THAT’S a memorable visit to Russia.
When I first heard the story, I thought it said that Trump hired the hookers to pee on him. I dismissed that because it just sounded too much like a rumor meant to make him look bad. But when you learn that Trump was just observing the pee show as a way of enacting vengeance on the guy he hates more than anyone on earth? Yep, that sounds real. It may not be, but please, please let it be true.
Admittedly, Comey’s reasoning is stupid. Trump wanted Comey to investigate the allegations in order to dispel them, as it would bother him if there was “even a 1% chance that Melania thought it were true.” Somehow Comey twisted this to mean that there was a 1% chance that Melania thought it was true, which somehow means that it is true? Dumb. James, just because your wife would never believe that you’d stood under a faucet of Russian hooker pee doesn’t mean that another woman believing the same thing of her husband means its true. Women are crazy bro! When we were in Nashville, I tagged my buddy in an Instagram post. Some girl who follows me then followed him, and his girlfriend saw this and assumed he was cheating on her. Women have the ability to connect dots that the rest of us don’t see. Sadly, they’re often right. But when they’re not, we get to call them crazy! And that’s fun because it makes them very, very angry.
I know for a fact that whomever I marry will always think there’s a 1% chance a group of Russian hookers have pissed on me at some point in my life. It’s knowing that she’s ok with that that will make us so great together.